Stressed

Tomorrow at work was supposed to be a nice quiet day of getting leisurely caught up on the things i've been putting off. Today started out a little rushed. I punched in at 7am (my usual time) and read and answered emails until 8, when I had a computer class. That ended at 10:30 so i went back to my desk and answered the next round of emails and answered questions for the staff. Meeting for the PAR goal at 11. Healthy weight pep talk at noon. Supposedly I could get some work done from 12:30 to 2, when my next meeting for the Quarterly Release was. But no, that was at 1. So I rushed in there a little late. It was a pretty quick meeting though and I was out by 1:30. Back to emails and answering questions. So far, a pretty regular day. Then, at 2:00 my day went south.

The Office of Inspector General (OIG) had made a request for a 200 page spreadsheet to be compiled and turned into their office by July 1. My boss had completely forgotten it. So at 2:00 one of the gals who would normally compile that data gave me a crash course in how to do it. It took her about three weeks to learn how to do that. I got 15 minutes and a couple pages of hastily scribbled instructions. From 2:00 to 4:30 I got most of ONE page doen. Oh, good. Only 199 left.

We have 28 people working in our department. Guess how many will be in tomorrow. Give up? Me too. 4. We will have four people in my department tomorrow. There's no way on God's green earth that i can have that spreadsheet put together. That's bad enough. Even worse is the fact that on my way out the door my boss stopped me to tell me that that *&%^&($ lawyer wants another fax sent. Last time I sent him a fax (after spending two hours doing something I have not be trained for) I made an admittedly stupid error and he had me reported to the Vice President and the company policy says that if such an error is reported it must be followed up. That was the day I bawled like a baby in my boss' office for an hour and offered to put in my notice. Now I get to go through all that again? I'm not sure I can.

I hope I survive tomorrow without having a hysterical weeping fit.

I am depressed and not dealing with it well. I have a sick feeling in my stomach and can't decide if i wish tomorrow would never come or if I'd rather just get it over with.